LUNAZUL TEQUILA BLANCO
🦫 ANGUS RATING: 7/10 BEAVERS
I. THE CROWLEY STORY — “The Tequila That Started a War Nobody Noticed”
Angus insists tequila once caused a three‑hour war in the early 1800s — a conflict so small and stupid that historians refuse to acknowledge it.
According to him, he was drinking with a group of Mexican ranchers near Guadalajara. Someone produced a bottle of clear agave spirit and declared it “the pride of Jalisco.” Angus, already several drinks deep, replied:
“Aye, it’s fine… but it tastes like a cactus trying to apologize.”
This apparently offended a visiting bureaucrat from the local government, who declared Angus’s comment an act of treason. Angus responded by declaring the bureaucrat’s hat an act of treason.
Shots were fired.
Mostly into the air.
One into a chicken.
The chicken survived and later became mayor.
The “war” ended when everyone realized they were too drunk to remember what they were fighting about. Angus claims Lunazul Blanco tastes closest to the tequila that started it — clean, green, honest, and capable of inspiring conflict among idiots.
Mexico denies this story.
Historians deny this story.
The chicken never commented.
Angus stands by it.
II. THE POUR
Lunazul Blanco hits the glass clean and bright. The first impression is unmistakably agave, but there’s a wonderfully fresh‑cut lawn character — not polite, not manicured, just proper green earthiness.
Then the agave steps forward:
clean, fresh, slightly sweet, and blessedly unburdened by oak.
This tequila has never been locked in a barrel and told to behave.
III. THE TASTE
Agave leads from the front — crisp, vegetal, honest.
There’s a subtle sweetness underneath, but Lunazul never pretends to be some mystical treasure unearthed beneath an Aztec temple. It’s tequila. Good tequila. And Angus respects spirits that don’t lie about their résumé.
IV. THE FINISH
The finish fades slowly, leaving behind a light hint of lime.
Not a citrus explosion.
Not candy.
Just a polite lime ghost tapping you on the shoulder before disappearing.
A respectable exit — something the English historically struggle with.
V. ANGUS’S VERDICT
Lunazul Blanco is clean, fresh, agave‑forward, and absolutely worth drinking neat or dropping into a Margarita or Ranch Water.
But let’s maintain perspective:
This isn’t a velvet‑cabinet tequila.
It doesn’t require a man named Reginald to explain its pedigree.
It’s a good budget Blanco.
And in that neighborhood, Angus has one rule:
JOSÉ IS STILL BETTER THAN HOSE B.
José = Cuervo
Everything else = Hose B.
It’s science.
Probably.